don’t try this at home

Last summer the Dorothy Lane Market School of Cooking asked me if I would teach a few classes on holiday entertaining. One of the things I’m well known for are my amazing hors d'oeuvres that seem to come together with relatively little effort, so a November class on make ahead canapés seemed perfect. I sent off nine recipes that could either be made ahead and frozen or would come to together in a virtual snap. While most were rather easy to make there was one little black diamond tucked in the rough.

The point of all of these recipes was that you could make them or prep them entirely ahead of time so that you could shine as a carefree hostess with the mostess. Again you make them weeks, days or hours ahead of time so that you can greet your guests with a delectable tidbit and not the least sign of stress.

When teaching a cooking class you usually arrive to the studio/classroom a couple hours ahead of time and with the help of culinary assistants layout everything you need so you can breeze through the recipes emphasizing the most notable teaching points and skipping over the more mundane like chopping, measuring, etc.

Well as I mentioned the point of the class was make-ahead hors d'oeuvres. Meaning that they needed to be made ahead of time and then portioned out so that the class could see how to make them ahead of time. When I arrived a little after three for my six o’clock class for a full house of almost forty. It took me no time at all to realize that I was in trouble.

As I started placing ingredients on the trays I knew I needed to make the dough for the cheddar cheese tartlets. The dough needed to rest, chill, get rolled out, filled and baked. While this recipe is amazing, it is not for the novice- think of black diamonds on the ski slopes. I usually make these gems on a lazy Saturday morning when I have nothing else on the docket. A Law and Order marathon the perfect backdrop as you blend, form, roll, cut, make the custard, bake, top, cool and ultimately freeze. So that in the future you can present your company with an exceptional morsel that will leave everyone momentarily speechless.

It was not lost on me that I did not have an entire morning; I had mere hours with time slipping by like grains of sand in the Wicked Witch of the West’s hourglass. I wanted to click my ruby slippers and transport myself home with a big cup of coffee and Olivia and Elliot on my kitchen TV. When the clock struck six my amazing crew got the last of the ingredients measured out and enough premade to satisfy a group that was the magnitude of an actual cocktail party.

I barely had time to go to the bathroom, swipe on some lipstick and greet my “guests”. After introducing myself and welcoming them to my make-ahead hors d'oeuvre class I declared that under no circumstances should they do what I had just done. I let them know that I was a harried wreck running around like a crazy person trying to get everything done in time and in place before they arrived. I reiterated that point of “entertaining with ease” was to make each recipe at their leisure then stow them away, so that with minimal effort they could genuinely greet their guests with calm enthusiasm.

Here is the recipe for the demise of my demeanor- cheddar cheese tartlets. (They seriously are worth the effort.)

Make the pastry first blending the flour, salt and cayenne in processor.

Add cheese and butter and pulse until course crumbs form.

Blend in enough ice water by teaspoonfuls until small moist clumps form.

Flatten into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least one hour.

While the pastry chills blend cottage cheese and whipping cream in a food processor until smooth.

Add 1 cup shredded cheddar, eggs, salt, and cayenne blend well.

Transfer to a bowl and stir in chopped green onion. Set aside.

Roll out the cheddar pastry on a lightly floured surface to a scant 1/8 inch. Cut into 2 ½ inch rounds.

Place a round in each mini muffin cup, pressing down lightly. Spoon one heaping tablespoon of filling into each pastry and bake.

Place completely cooled tartlets in Ziploc bags in a single layer and freeze for up to three weeks.

To reheat re-warm uncovered in a preheated 350-degree oven until heated through, approximately 12 minutes.

When DLM asked me to do an encore of this class I pleaded with them to remove the cheddar culprits from the docket. Needless to say we sailed through the next class, though the teachable moment of what not to do at home was lost.